WARNING: NSFW
I don’t know what it is about Valentine’s Day that screams, “Let’s draw dicks”, but that seems to be the route many of you went in crafting your scorecard of love. There were some pretty horrifying and graphically sexual entries (some of which probably deserve some sort of credit for grotesque creativity) but in the end it wasn’t just about shock value. I am not an animal. I have a sensitive, loving heart and chose my Top 3 entries from each league night based on a combination of originality, creativity and relativitskee to skeeball.
Congrats, all of you featured below have won a free Begyle or Revolution Brew beerskees.
Tuesday Night
#3) The Horse Cock Kids
The Horse Cock Kids
Like I said, disgusting. But of all the dicks that were drawn over the course of 3 league nights, this one was the most romantic. It’s got the heart shaped chocolate box, flowers, the dreamy long eye lashes. This is the kind of dick you want to bring home to meet the parents. Add in the witty double entendre, and you’ve got yourself a pretty serviceable Valentine for that special someone.
And unlike the other weirdos out there, this team’s name is “The Horse Cock Kids”, so they kinda needed to incorporate a big cock into the mix.
#2) Skeech Powers: Saved By The Ball
Skeech Powers: Saved By The Ball
When Skeech Powers busted out a box of crayola crayons, I knew they had clinched top 3. Let’s face it, they basically brought a gun to a knife fight. The card itself is cute and colorful, and they obviously put in some effort which is nice. The only problem is I have no idea whats going on. Does that say Skeech and Busters? Skeech Ball? Just a lot going on and a little messy for my tastes. I guess the ladskees from Skeech Powers just like it a little dirtskee. 50 shades of SKEE if you know what I’m sayin.
Prisoners of Azskeeban
“Wanna roll back to my place?” That might be the number #1 skee-related pick up line that I’ve ever heard. You’ve got a classic boy meets girl romance, with an added touch of red for the hearts and skeeball. This is the kind of artistry that Kanye would be proud of. Add in the sponsor tie-ins and we’ve got ourselves a winner.
Congrats Lauren, Sarah and Julie. You win ABSOLUT t-shirts and a round of Absolutskee shots.
Wednesday Night
#3) The Ten SKEEmandments
I like the “list” format of this card, which was anchored by the fact the team name is The Ten SKEEmandments. Sure there are some “insider references” that don’t make any sense to a lot of you, but by and large this Valentine has a lot of positive takeaways. “Don’t roll or go to bed angry.” That right there is worth the price of entry. “Make sure the ring is FULL 40 karat”, that’s gold. And “Craig and Crystal bank” whether intentional or not, has forever brought new meanings to what I’ll think of when I hear the word bank.
Someone will need to explain #10 to me though, cause it looks like gibberish.
#2) The SKEE Amigos
The SKEE Amigos
For the second straight year, one of the most vividly pornographic Valentine’s have come from the minds of three, kind, innocent-looking females. Again, for me it’s not just about graphic for the sake of being graphic. I’m looking for the story line here. I need some substance. For starters, the team name is The SKEE Amigos, and the three depicted in this drawing are definitely close. Also, I’ve never seen a skeeball machine doing a chick doggy style. So there’s that. Let’s face it, everybody loves a skeesome. Good enough for 2nd place.
#1) Skeedish Bikini Team
Skeedish Bikini Team
K.I.S.S.
Keep it simple, stupid. This card delivers on all fronts, and while simplistic, ended up being the perfect equation to winning free ABSOLUT-SKEE shirts/shots.
To celebrate, Ben, Jim and Amanda will be offering free kisses from the photo booth from 10pm-12am Wednesday.
Thursday Night
*Thursday night had a LOT of good entries. Definitely some tough deskeecions.
#3) Sons of Anarcskee
Sons of Anarcskee
If you guys haven’t realized by now, incorporating league sponsors into anything is a recipe for success. While I don’t have any actual statistics, I think it’s safe to say that Begyle Brew has definitely helped/motivate more than a few love skeennections this skeeson. And there’s that “rolling home” pun again. How have I not heard that before?
#2) R2SKEE2
R2SKEE2
Amazing inferred robot on robot action here, and I love the marriage equalitskee message. There isn’t a creative contest out there that Joy “Incogskeeto” isn’t going to contend for, so much that she was even referenced above in the 3rd place card.
#1) Split SKEE Soup
Split SKEE Soup
Of all the Valentine’s in this year’s contest, I proclaim that this one is the most whimsical. The drawing itself leaves a little to be desired, but look at those cute little boots. And the girl stick figure seems to be giving the guy stick figure a piggy back ride, meaning SHE carried HIM all those miles which is a complete gender reversal mind fuck. Best of all, I challenge you to read the above lyrics and not have that song stuck in your head the rest of the day. Just a great card all around. Well done Split Skee Soup! Top honors of Absolutskee shots and swag for you.
THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR PARTICSKEEPATING!!!
